WATCH “THE ULTIMATE QUESTION” BY LANCE MILLER
CHAPTERS
0:09 The Journey to Validation
1:16 Supercharge Your Storytelling Skills
7:45 The Power of Decision
9:25 The Ultimate Question
10:11 The Quest for Change
11:14 A Moment of Validation
25:18 The Hero's Resolution
33:03 Validation: The Key to Connection
35:52 Audience Engagement and Acceptance
36:54 The Transformative Power of Stories
EPISODE SUMMARY
In this episode, Mark Whitney has an engaging conversation with Lance Miller, the 2005 Toastmasters World Champion of Public Speaking, who shares insights on the art of storytelling and the power of validation. Whitney explores Lance’s journey from a self-doubting speaker to becoming a world champion, emphasizing the pivotal moment that reshaped his understanding of public speaking and personal interaction.
Lance recounts his early experiences in Toastmasters, recounting a memorable conversation with Roberta Perry, who encouraged him to envision himself as a potential world champion. Initially, he couldn't fathom the idea of standing on stage, let alone delivering a powerful message to the world. This moment catalyzed years of introspection, leading Lance to profoundly consider what it would mean to speak to a global audience about something of significance. He reflects on how the idea of validation became central not only to his speech but to his life philosophy.
As they unpack Mr. Miller’s championship speech, titled "The Ultimate Question," Lance articulates the structure of his narrative—the three acts of storytelling that he discovered organically during his journey. He highlights the contrast between his challenging background and his desire to emerge as a beacon of positivity, revolving around the simple yet profound concept of validation. The anecdotes he shares about his life—including his past struggles and realizations sparked by a seemingly mundane interaction with a receptionist—serve as the backbone of his powerful message.
This episode also touches on Lance's techniques for engaging an audience, emphasizing that a speaker's relationship with their audience begins before the words are spoken. He discusses the importance of presence and how the audience’s attention is captured from the moment a speaker steps onto the stage. At a granular level, Whitney and Miller break down the mechanics of the speech, exploring the use of humor, rhythm, and audience participation to weave a tapestry of connection, ultimately making validation the focal point of his message.
Lance explains that the audience's response is an essential part of the speaking process, revealing the emotional and transformative impact of a simple “cha-ching” as a tool for validation.
This production, filled with charisma and wisdom, not only highlights the incredible skill of storytelling but also leaves listeners with actionable insights to enhance their own speaking journeys.
Throughout the episode, Lance Miller’s infectious enthusiasm for validating others, along with the lessons learned from his trials, resonates deeply. He believes that if everyone focused on recognizing the rightness and goodness in others, many of the world’s conflicts would dissolve. This captivating session culminates in a rallying cry for speakers and listeners alike to embrace validation in their lives and communities, proving that sometimes a simple acknowledgment can be life-changing.
A.I. GENERATED TRANSCRIPT
[0:00] And here's the other thing, Mark, I had this Roberta Perry, who's the founder of my club when I was brand new in Toastmasters, first time the contest came
[0:07] around, I asked her, what's the international speech contest? And she, I'm in Toastmasters like two and a half months. And she goes, that's where they have the world championship of public speaking. And she looked at me and said, you could be the world champion. I said, no, I couldn't. What is it? Yeah, right. No, I couldn't. What is it? Right. Before you even know what it is. My name, world champion next to my name? No, that's not me. And the next words haunted me for years because she said, that's like you had five to seven minutes to talk to the world. Yeah. And I sat there and I sort of envisioned, you know, this, what if mankind picked one person to give the world a seven minute message? Five, seven minutes. Well, what's a year? And we all stopped and listened to what this person said. And I go, what would I say? And I said, I would say, pick somebody else. Yeah.
[0:58] Music.
[1:16] Shadow and welcome folks welcome to writing for speaking this is a bonus episode i am the lovely and talented the aforementioned mark whitney welcome to my writing room wow what a show we have for you today everybody is here merlin is in the booth my sidekick pig pen is here pig pen say hello to the nice people you suck gotta love the pressure it keeps me sharp The purpose of today's show, supercharge your storytelling skills. If you're somebody that runs their mouth for a living, if speaking plays a big role in your life, maybe you're a sales guy or gal, maybe you're a teacher, maybe you're a pastor, maybe you're a Toastmaster. That's what we're going to have today, a Toastmaster world champion. Maybe you're a comic. Maybe you're a screenwriter. You just want to supercharge your storytelling skills. This is where you want to be.
[2:10] Lance Miller, 2005 Toastmaster, world champion of public speaking. Before I introduce Lance, I have a question for you. Here it is. Listen up. If you had five minutes, someone gives you five minutes to give a message to the world. Everyone is going to focus on you. They're going to be representatives there from say a hundred nations. And they all came to hear you deliver your five minute message to the world. What would you say? Do you have anything to say to the representatives of planet Earth? That brings us to Lance Miller. The World Championship of Public Speaking is an annual competition sponsored by Toastmasters International. It takes six months to go through all six rounds. Typically, the contest is entered by around 25,000 people from all of the world. English is the official language of the contest. It usually starts out in a club A little local Toastmaster club That might have 20 people in it, right?
[3:15] And it ends in a big ballroom with a couple of thousand people. And for the 10 people who end up on the stage out of the 25 or 30,000 that enter, it might be their first time under the bright lights. It might be the first time where they take the stage and actually can't see the audience because the theater lights, the ballroom lights are so bright. There are flat screens. It's a whole thing, right? Right. So Lance Miller spends 13 years beating his head against the wall, trying to win this contest. 13 years he spends. And he goes to a National Speaker Association conference after winning this contest. And that's where he learns about the hero's journey. Now, there's a there's a three three act story. I didn't know about this until after I there. There's there's definitely a three act story here. Absolutely. But I didn't know about this. I was at a National Speakers Association seminar, and this guy says there's three acts in every story. And I watch, and I go, oh, my God, that's exactly what I did in my speech. I was working it out organically with what worked. I was trying and erring, and then I went, this works. I need to do it this way. And then I realized what I had discovered on my own was an ancient sort of hero story that is almost in every story you see. I started to feel like a superhero. I was the validator.
[4:36] Music.
[4:44] Took him 13 years to figure it out by himself. That's why I say today, I hope to cut your journey short in whatever creative endeavor you are involved in, right? We want to cut that journey short here today lance miller is a mild-mannered milkman and you're going to hear a speech where he transforms himself into a superhero right before your very ears and if you want to see him do it before your very eyes see what he's wearing see what his little prop looks like see what the staging looks like the video of that speech is posted here on this post or you can Just search on the ultimate question, Lance Miller, and it'll pop up and you can watch it. It's quite ubiquitous. It's all over the place. It's a famous speech.
[5:32] Before I play, I'm going to play the whole world championship speech for you. Lance speaks for seven minutes and 20 seconds. So just so you know, the rules of the contest, right, the finals, there are like eight speakers up there in the finals. And the rules are you get five to seven minutes. There's a 30-second grace period. So if he had spoken for 11, he spoke for seven minutes and 20 seconds. If he had spoken for 11 more seconds, he would have been disqualified. And his six months worth of effort would have gone right down the toilet. He would have had to start again next year. But he didn't do that. He ended at 720 with a big round of applause. Before I play his championship speech for you, the ultimate question. Before I do that, I want the information in this show today to be accessible. to feel accessible.
[6:29] I don't want to hold Lance Miller up as having accomplished something that's unattainable. So what I'm going to play for you now is Lance Miller giving a speech at his local club, a recent speech that he gives in his club after spending the last 20 years touring the world. He's spoken 5,000 times or so in 80 different countries, right? That's what winning that championship did for him. He turned it into a whole thing. He is the Toastmaster Whisperer. And if you're not familiar with Toastmasters, there's like 300,000 people who are Toastmasters, who work on becoming effective communicators to make them more confident at work, at home, and in their communities. And a subset of them run their mouth for a living. I'm one of those people. So I'm really interested in this topic, as you can tell. So I want you to hear Lance giving a speech at his club. Just a couple of short clips.
[7:45] One of the things I do quite often is I ask myself, how did I get here? Now, if you're a Toastmaster listening to this, that sounds like anybody in your club. Am I right? It sounds like a club speech. It sounds like a comedy open mic on Tuesday night where there's you and five comics there and they're drunk friends. It's they're drunk friends It sounds like a coffee house Talk right It's not it's not this Big thing here's another one of the things That I know life comes down to Is nothing more than a series of decisions, And it's Interesting that no action in life Precedes a decision.
[8:29] And so whenever we're wanting to go someplace and do something, we must first decide to do it. So that's the club speech. Nothing like what you're going to hear in a few seconds here, which is the culmination of six months of competitions. He won five rounds. He had to win the club level, the area level, the division level, the district level, the regional level, and then get to the finals. And there are all these other people from all over the world competing against him, right? So here we go. Lance Miller Speaker number 8 Lance Miller The ultimate question The ultimate question Lance Miller Thank you.
[9:25] The ultimate question That question that has plagued man since the dawn of time. And that question that each and every one of us must ask at some point in our life. Do you validate? Mr. Chairman, fellow Toastmasters and friends, I was 26 years old. I was living in a small town in Indiana. I had a job I didn't like. I hadn't had a date in three years. And I had a couple of roommates named Mom and Dad.
[10:12] I felt like my life was going nowhere so i took control i left my home and my family and i headed to los angeles to start over six months later i had a job i didn't like, i was dating a girl who was trying to make me better by pointing out all of my fault And I had a couple of roommates that made Dumb and Dumber look like Einstein and Oppenheimer. I had changed everything in my life, but nothing had changed. I still felt like I was going nowhere. And then one day after a business meeting, all I wanted to do was get my parking validated. And I walked over to the receptionist and said, excuse me, do you validate? And she looked up and said, well, yes, I do. You have a lovely smile.
[11:15] Showing her the ticket, I said, no, I was just in a meeting with your boss. Do you validate? And she said, well, let me compliment you on what a fine choice of business associates you have. Catching on, I said, you have such a keen sense of humor. or I'm going to go tell your boss how lucky he is to have you out here. And she goes, give me that ticket.
[11:35] She took her little machine and she went, cha-chink. And then as she handed it back, she looked at me and she said, there's something special about you. I took the ticket and headed for the elevator. But I stopped. I turned around and just said, thank you. I don't know how long it had been since I'd felt validated. Her words stayed with me all the way home. And as I was looking at my life, I started to wonder how long it had been since I'd validated somebody else. I wanted to do that. I wanted to make people feel good. But I felt that I needed to be important. I needed to be successful. So that when I said something to somebody, it meant something to them. But that receptionist had just made my day. Heck, she made my month. With one little cha-ching, she stamped my ticket. And I thought, I can do that. So I went home to see Dumb and Dumber.
[12:47] These guys were constantly bringing people back to the apartment. It was driving me nuts. But I went in and I said, you make friends faster than anybody I've ever seen. And that is a gift. To see their faces. I swear they got smarter right before my eyes.
[13:07] Cha-ching I went to see my girlfriend And I thanked her for caring enough about me That she wanted to see me be as good as I could be You know what? She got nicer Cha-ching I went to work and I thanked my boss for hiring me He'd done me a favor And I started to enjoy my work a lot more Cha-ching, I used to think I had to be important before I could validate other people. I used to look at people as obstacles to my success. But what I discovered was I became important when I validated other people. I became important to that person and that person. People were the pathway to my success. I started trying to find something I could stamp on everybody I met. That little piece of goodness, that little piece of rightness, just a little cha-ching. I started to feel like a superhero. Underneath this mild-mannered exterior was a blue and red spandex suit with a giant V on the chest. Yes, I was the validator.
[14:23] When things would get tense, they'd tighten up. I'd come in and cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink I had plenty of ink, I'd hear people say Who was that man? I don't know but I heard this cha-chink And suddenly I feel so much better now, And then I figured it out Do you know what's wrong with the world? Do you know what's wrong with me? Do you know what's wrong with you? Who cares?
[15:05] The question is what is right with the world? What is right with me? What is right with you? The common denominator of all humanity is the fact that we are human. We are by nature imperfect. It takes no special talent to find an imperfection in another person.
[15:28] But every person goes through life wanting to be right wanting to be valuable find that bring it out in them i started to discover in my life that i got what i validated i found out that I brought out the goodness, the value in others by validating that. We have a lot of problems in this world, but I've learned that there is not a problem that exists between a parent and a child, between a husband and a wife, between a worker and his employer, or between races, cultures, or nations that does not stem directly from an inability or an unwillingness to validate the rightness, the value, and the goodness in another. This is the ultimate question. Do you validate? But this is not what's important. What's important is, can you, cha? Can you, cha? See? Can you, cha? You've been a great audience.
[16:55] In watching some of the staging of the world champions, I'm thinking, I think I'm thinking of Don and Jay's speech right now. Don and Jay's speech, which is also a great speech. He walks out on stage after being introduced, and the Toastmaster walks across the stage, and they kind of almost bump into each other, and they kind of sloppily shake hands. Your speech was staged perfectly where you have to stride across the whole stage to the Toastmaster. The Toastmaster wisely stands there and waits for you. And the audience can exhale. The second they see you crossing the stage, they can just exhale and relax because you can tell. You can tell the way you're walking across that stage. You are so relaxed. There's no sense of pretense or nerves. I just know looking at you before you utter a single word, I am in good hands. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it was interesting. thing, one of the things I tell people, I go, the speech doesn't start. And you see Pete do this all the time. The timing starts. The timing starts when you make your first motion or word. The speech doesn't start.
[18:08] The speech starts the first time the audience sees you. Right. So what I tell people, if you're standing off the stage and the audience can see you and you're over there and you're going through some mental thing, you're huffing and puffing and you're like that. You're looking at notes. You're doing that. The audience is watching you. The speech starts right then. So I know when I walked across that stage, my speech, my relationship with the audience started the moment I stepped on that stage. I walked across, shook Johnny Lee's hand. And I walked back to the center and then I walked out to the audience. I didn't come out at an angle. I walked back to the center, turned and came out and smiled at the audience as I came out and looked across the room. And you see speakers all the time come out and they're like, oh, what are you doing? You're supposed to be a world champion speaker and you're up here taking breaths. I know. You know, like you're prepping. You should be, you should have prepped. You should have been in prep two weeks ago. What are you prepping on stage for? Are there like footprints on the floor or something? that I should be standing on? You know, what's going on here? The ultimate question. The Toastmaster announces the title and it's very milk toast. But then you come out and you say the ultimate question, the question, that question. And I'm a little bit like, I'm going to take him. I'm going to slap him across the face. There you go.
[19:23] That question that has plagued man since the dawn of time. You say it three times and it's really big. It's huge, right? And that's the misdirection. almost angry and that question that each and every one of us must ask at some point in our life yeah it's like blood vessels like fire and brimstone yeah yeah what i know is i what i know is they just listened i was the eighth speaker they just listened to seven speakers i needed to set it up making this really heavy exactly when i pull my ticket out and go do you validate it just juxtaposed to it's the exact opposite it's the exact opposite do you validate.
[20:04] You know, there's a question we all ask, you know, we all have to ask at some point in our time, unless you validate, it doesn't have the impact. The ultimate question. Yeah. Question that eats every, and people are sitting there going, what the hell is this question? Yeah. Holy moat. This, what is, you know, that's playing man since the dawn of time. Yeah. You know, what is, they're like, oh my God. Yeah. You oversell the hell out of it. Yeah. You validate. Yeah. All right. Whoa, whoa, what happened there, right? It's really good. I was 26 years old. I was living in a small town in Indiana. I had a job I didn't like. I hadn't had a date in three years. And I had a couple of roommates named mom and dad.
[20:55] First act is where was it? When was it? Who's there? What's the conflict? Yeah. So my first act was, my first act used to be two and a half, three minutes long. My first act went to 20 seconds or 15. I said I was 26 years old, living in a small town in Indiana. I had a job I didn't like. I hadn't had a date in three years. I had a couple of roommates like mom and dad. I felt like my life was going nowhere. there's the conflict yeah it's just it's just need need to know you know need to know bullet bullet bullet and this is how i feel yeah what that did that spoke volumes yeah because that set the whole thing up i have a job i don't like i'm not dead anybody i'm living at home yeah right everybody everybody's in the room on that yeah yeah you got you got the picture you don't need you can fill in you can fill in all the details yeah i don't have to tell you all the details. I gave you enough that you can now have the picture and you can fill the details and you can see what's going on. The second act are the failed attempts to resolve the conflict. And that's what it was just sticky. I actually had four failed attempts. I moved to California. I have a new job. I have a new girlfriend. I have new roommates. And I have not solved the conflict with any of those four things. I've failed four times to resolve my conflict. It's also very linear, right? It's like, this is what home life was like in Indiana. I was 26 years old. I was living in a small town in Indiana. I had a job I didn't like. I hadn't had a date in three years.
[22:25] And I had a couple of roommates named mom and dad. This is home life in LA. I had a job I didn't like. I was dating a girl who was trying to make me better by pointing out all of my fault. And i had a couple of roommates that made dumb and dumber look like einstein and oppenheimer, they line right up first triad yeah of job dating and living yeah i have a triad i match it job dating and living i just yeah i clicked right over so it's it's it matches completely yep both and both both of them are set up that the third point in that triad is the humorous point to have good, strong laughs on both those points. I had changed everything in my life.
[23:14] But nothing had changed. I still felt like I was going nowhere. And when you say I had changed everything in my life, but nothing had changed, there's something lawyers sometimes say. They'll say, Your Honor, that's a difference without distinction. And you had just really just moved laterally across the United States from Indiana to LA, which is almost literally a straight line.
[23:39] And then you stopped when you hit water, but really nothing had changed. I felt like my life was going nowhere. And here's the critical point in that too, is that anybody would go, wow, you moved to California. You're working. I was working. I worked for the Olympics. I worked for Nestle. I worked for an Ezra Bush. Wow. Look at, look at the change you made. You know, we're dating anybody. You're dating this girl. It's all the same crap. Look at that. Look at this house at the beach that you're living in. Wow. And I'm like, no, I still feel like I'm going nowhere. So anybody would look at that and they would see the change i needed to set it up that i'd made this incredible shift in my life but it didn't change my life and so that creates that starts to create in the mind of the audience uh like whoa it's like where are we going here and it starts to open the audience up their mind up that how's he going to solve this oh my god look how much he changed and he still didn't fix the problem how's he gonna is is he saying there might be is he saying there might be something even better than getting a better job yeah exactly.
[24:51] So part that was artistic creativity and it it was it was it was here was i say it's very true to me and then one day after a business meeting all i wanted to do was get my parking validated And I walked over to the receptionist and said, excuse me, do you validate? And she looked up and said, well, yes, I do. You have a lovely smile.
[25:19] The third act is the resolution of the conflict by the hero. And the hero is the receptionist who resolves my conflict. Showing her the ticket, I said, no, I was just in a meeting with your boss. Do you validate? And she said, well, let me compliment you on what a fine choice of business associates you have. There was never a receptionist that said, you have a lovely smile. But there were a lot of people in my life that were telling me, Lance, you're really good at this. You know, you have. Yeah, you're communicating the emotional truth of this situation. It's not a documentary. I had a five to seven minute speech. I didn't have an hour and a half to talk about all the people that went through and how they impacted me. Catching on, I said, you have such a keen sense of humor. I'm going to go tell your boss how lucky he is to have you out here. And she goes, give me that ticket.
[26:06] She took her little machine and she went to chink now this right here coming up is a very poignant part of my interview with mr miller where he he opens up and reveals his long-standing issues with addiction i will say i i don't typically share this but i will share with you i had an addiction when i was in high school i was addicted to puns and uh the lowest form of humor i started to wonder how long it had been since I'd validated somebody else. I wanted to do that. I wanted to make people feel good, but I felt that I needed to be important. I needed to be successful so that when I said something to somebody, it meant something to them. With one little cha-chink, she stamped my ticket. And I thought, I can do that. And I split words across all the time. And I had a teacher and I used to compete all the time with who could come up with the best puns. Yes. And it's a disease. It's a disease. And it's very annoying. It really is. So I went home to see Dumb and Dumber.
[27:12] You make friends faster than anybody I've ever seen. And that is a gift. I swear they got smarter right before my eyes. Cha-ching. I was reformed from that. But still, every time I went to a parking attendant and I said, do you validate? I would always go, God, I'd be going great car. I love your tie. I would be just, you know, I would be saying yes. And I'm like, I bite my tongue. Oh yes, we do. They'd stamp my ticket. Go on. I went to see my girlfriend and I thanked her for caring enough about me that she wanted to see me be as good as I could be. You know what? She got nicer to chink. And I go, you're missing such a great opportunity to play with somebody. I went to work and I thanked my boss for hiring me. He'd done me a favor. And I started to enjoy my work a lot more.
[28:04] Cha-ching. That was very present in my life for my son. I used to think I had to be important before I could validate other people. I used to look at people as obstacles to my success. I became important when I validated other people. Had I been a parking attendant or a restaurant, major deers, or something like that that was standing tickets, I would have been having fun with that all day long. I became important to that person. And that person, people were the pathway to my success. I started trying to find something I could stamp on everybody I met That little piece of goodness, that little piece of rightness Just a little cha-ching So we've got the image system The image system is that ticket, that prop That ticket, right? And he synthesizes that now by introducing a sound system Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching You might want to go with cha-ching I'm just saying, but cha-ching, fine We're going to go with cha-ching It is a hard consonant, it pops He's selling the hell out of this cha-ching because we know from listening to his speech where he's going with it, he wants the audience to chant it back to him. When things will get tense, they tighten up. I come in and cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink. I had plenty of ink.
[29:20] There it is again, cha-chink. He keeps calling back to that thing he knows he needs to get the audience to do, so he needs to browbeat them with that cha-chink a little bit. I hear people say, who was that man? And I don't know, but I heard this cha-chink and suddenly I feel so much better now. There he is again, triplets, browbeating the audience with cha-chink because he knows where he's going with it. Audience participation. He calls back to it like 10 times. And eventually the audience calls it back to him, closing the circle. And then I figured it out. We ratchet up the tension and explode the room. You know what's wrong with the world? You know what's wrong with me? Do you know what's wrong with you? Who cares?
[30:11] And what happens? The audience issues Mr. Miller a permission slip. That round of applause, that laughter, that's a permission slip for him to say anything he wants. That is the audience saying our minds are open hit us with your best shot here's the sequence you know what's wrong with the world you know what's wrong with the world and that's got the audience going what's wrong with you know what's wrong with me you know what's wrong with me what's wrong with you they're leaning in then i go do you and i said this in anger that's important do you know what's wrong with you you know what's wrong with you the reason i did that, It was because how many times in our lives has somebody yelled at us? What is wrong? Yeah, you're just channeling all that cliche stuff that people do. And I had to say it in the tone that it would have been said to the person so that it triggered all the mechanisms in their mind of what's wrong with you. And I've had probably a half a dozen people say, I was sitting in that audience and I was going, oh no, what's he going to say? Yeah, that's right. That's right. And then I come back with, who cares?
[31:26] Who cares? The question is, what's right with you? And I swear to God, that audience had an out-of-body experience. Well, they're so relieved because... You could feel the emotional release. I could feel it on stage. Everybody went, oh my God, there's nothing wrong with me. The question is, what's right with me? And that's what I want in the field. Yes. Yes. They're so relieved because you're demanding nothing of them. Yeah. Question is what's right with you. Back to the permission slip. Who cares? The audience's mind is open. They are ready to receive the message. The one thing I'll say, you have to open up your audience's mind to be able to accept your message because they're sitting there with their minds sort of closed. You've got them to sort of start searching. That's where that failed attempt to resolve comes in. And they're going, well, how's he going to fix this? And as soon as they start, how's he going to fix this? They open their mind up that you can get a message. The question is what is right with the world? What is right with me? What is right with you? The common denominator of all humanity is the fact that we are human. When you start a speech off with the message right up front, we get pulled with you all the time. I could have started that speech off. You know what your problem is? You know what the problem of the world is? You know what my problem is? We don't validate. And everybody would have said, okay, prove to me you're right. We are by nature imperfect.
[32:54] Music.
[33:03] But every person goes through life wanting to be right, wanting to be valuable. Find that. Bring it out in them. If I had five to seven minutes to speak to the world, validation is what I would say to them. Because everything, all the problems we have as people comes from invalidating people. If we just started finding what's right, we wouldn't have any wars, we wouldn't have gang problems, we wouldn't have miracle problems. The thing is, your audience is an international audience, and they validate your message to the world like that. Right. They validate you. That is objective. That is no longer subjective. That is an objective truth that's happening in that room. We have a lot of problems in this world. But I've learned that there is not a problem that exists between a parent and a child, between a husband and a wife, between a worker and his employer, or between races, cultures, or nations that does not stem directly from an inability or an unwillingness to validate the rightness, the value, and the goodness in another. I wanted the audience to accept the message of their own free will. I didn't want to have them accept it because I told them to accept it. I wanted them to go, oh, my God, I could do that. You united the room.
[34:30] And different races, cultures, nations are all there. And they all get it. They all get it. If you look at this, I start off with me and my conflict. Yep. Right? Then I expanded it up to the same thing. a parent and a child, a worker and his employer. Now, what's interesting, I didn't say with your child, I said a parent or his child. This is the ultimate question. Do you validate?
[34:57] But this is not what's important. So here's the point. You could be 40 years old and still having problems with your parents. Yeah, sure. Be 40 years old and having problems with your kids. That statement works on any flow you want to do it. Between a worker and his employer. Well, it could be the employer's having a problem with the worker or the worker's having a problem with his boss. That works either way or races, cultures, or nations. What's important is, can you, Chuck, can you, Chuck? So I take it, I start with this small, I make the case on me, this changed my life. And then I expand it to family. Can you, Chuck, can you? To work in community. Right. To basically the world of mankind. You've been a great audience.
[35:53] And he has them chanting like a barrel of monkeys. Message received. It's undeniable. That is objective proof. He took something that is subjective and turned it into something objective. It's three-dimensional. It's undeniable. He closes the loop. It is a singular accomplishment. What is the secret to getting an audience to accept your message, Mr. Miller? The way to get your audience to accept the message is by sharing it.
[36:25] How you applied it in your life and how it changed your life. And there you have it. A world champion of public speaking, underscoring the message we repeat in this forum on a regular basis over and over again, we say the following. There are only two things to write or speak about. What's going on with you? What's going on in the world? The intersection of those two things is a story.
[36:54] That's a story it has a transformative arc and we heard that transformation here from mild-mannered milkman in indiana to the validator on the world championship stage where he starts out not being validated by his family he moves from indiana to california He's still searching for meaning Suddenly, one day The unknown reason for moving to California Materializes A receptionist validates him And now he has found a meaning and purpose That has taken him through the past 30 years You can hear how enthusiastic he still is About this concept of validation And how he truly believes It can solve all the world's problems And that's why he was able to transfer that emotion to the audience and get them to chant back to him over and over again, like they had rehearsed it ahead of time.
[37:59] Music.
[38:00] No one lives forever There's business here you've got to finish So there you go. We are here every Monday through Friday at 4 o'clock, usually with a little one or two-minute quick hit to help you become a better speaker. And every now and then we'll do these bonus episodes. Let's just, before we go, can we just check in with Pigpen? Pigpen, come on. Come on. Let's be serious. How did I do today? You are stuck and soon. No talent. Mediocre pieces of shit. That is a harsh evaluation, ladies and gentlemen. But I can take it. I have a spine of steel because I'm inspired by the man of steel, Lance Miller, the validator. Writing for Speaking is a production of Sisboomba LLC. Many thanks to Lance Miller for everybody at Hi-Fi Speakers in San Diego. Thanks for listening. If you're in town, shoot us an email, hit me up online. We'll give you a guest pass and check out a meeting. See you next time.
[39:08] Music.
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